National Coming Out Day

Today, October 11th, is National Coming Out Day. Though I don't think I will have to come out to all you guys :) Just in case, though...

I am transgender. Born with a male body and a feminine mind. I tell you, it isn't easy to live with; seeing a boy in the mirror and knowing you should be seeing a girl. It is even harder to not be able to tell anyone this, as most people don't understand. Some go even further, and hate it, to the point of verbal and physical harassment.

I needed to do something about this. About me. About my dysphoria. I didn't realize it until I was partway through Our Whole Lives, a sex-ed and safe-relationships class put on by my church. One day, we talked about transgender people, and it all seemed to fall into place. Ever had one of those sudden moments of clarity, where things just seem to click? That's what I had. I realized who and what I was. And I realized that I could do something about it.

So began the long process of coming out. On a rainy day in early April, 2011, I came out to a bisexual guy as trans. And he was pretty cool about it. I then came out to a couple friends from old schools and church camp, who had known me for a while, and that I trusted. Eventually and stupidly, I made and posted a coming out video on Youtube. Biggest mistake ever, but also in a good way; my younger sister saw it (I think I left it up on the computer we share), and told my dad. He saw it, then told my mom, when she got home. By then I had removed the video, but that night, my mom and I sat together, talking about what was going to happen. I think she went through half of a tissue box that night.

Things were pretty 'normal' for a time, until summer. During that time, I had gradually come out to a few more of my friends. During summer, though, is when I made my biggest coming out ever: at the church camp I went to, I came out to about 70+ people, in one sitting. Everyone was supportive.

The following school year (2011-12), I still went to school as Patrick, my male self. I wish I could have done something, but there wasn't much I could do. Yet that year, my sophomore year, I made more progress than ever. I made more friends, became a part of the GSA, and came out to a few more kids, including some at school. I even attended the midwinter church camp is me, Jennifer; I stayed in a girls cabin, was treated like a girl, etcetera.

I gained more confidence.

During the summer, up until now, I had been going to a trans* support group meeting, up in Seattle. There, I met several truly awesome people, who were going through something similar to my experience, in various stages of their own transitions. Needless to say, we all kicked things off from the start. Now, they are several of many people who I can rely on for help when things seem their worst.

Near the end of last school year, I was finally approved for a medical transition (taking hormones and such), paperwork and all. I started Spironolactone on March 14th of this year, and Finasteride on July 8th, both of which are used as Testosterone blockers; also, I will soon be starting Estrodial (Estrogen).

This past summer, I attended church camp again, in otherwise the same conditions as midwinter camp was, with the exception of different clothes per the weather. All went well, and I had a blast. Everyone was super accepting, supportive, and just... there. There if you needed a hug, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to rejoice with. And they all still are, and I thank them all for that.

Later that summer, I attended a trans* conference (Gender Odyssey) up in Seattle, where I met some of my old friends, and made some new ones, not to mention learning a great deal more about transition and such.

All this time, my mother has been supportive and loving of me, and has been right beside me since I came out to her. My dad hasn't been nearly as supportive, but is getting there, slowly but surely. And, sometime this school year (before Christmas break), I will be coming out, at the very least to the people in my classes. Hopefully, things will go well, and I will be able to continue my high school career as the true me, without having to hide anything. With the love and support of all of you, my friends, I am sure I can make it through the rest of high school, and on into a happy, successful life afterwards.

Thank you, all of you, for being so accepting, supportive, and loving of me and my transition, my journey, and just for being there for me. I love you all, so, so much ♥