Let's say you had the biggest secret in the world, something so dark that everybody would freak out if you told them, even to the point of killing you. Problem is, this secret is already killing you, and the longer you hold it, the more you die.
Basically, this is the dilemma that almost every LGBTIQA person faces. It's hard to tell people who we really are, but just as hard to live the lie that they want us to. And unfortunately for many, even after they come out and start transition, some never finish, even turning back, due to peer pressures (mainly from people close to them). What really saddened me is, when I'm scrolling through a group on Facebook (for trans* teens), I saw this one post. The person who posted it was saying that they wanted to just detransition (reverse the process of transition), and go back to how things were, so they could hang out with their new friends, and do drugs and be happy.
Detransitioning is NOT the route to happiness, even if it means being with your friends! Trying to please others is not what you should be doing; try to please yourself instead. What do YOU really want? And besides, if you come out to people, start to transition in front of their eyes, then stop, that's as good as saying it was a "phase", which I really doubt it ever was for anyone in the LGBTQIA community. Granted, I've experimented with my sexuality, but that wasn't a phase, more like a questioning.
And second, drugs mess you up! Anyone out there that uses drugs or alcohol to cope with not being accepted is only making things worse. Skipping the whole "drugs kill" talk, they take a toll on you emotionally. And drugs and booze only hold you back, preventing you from bettering yourself. It's bad enough keeping yourself a secret, but destroying yourself because of it?
I know how hard it is in the closet. It's so dark, sometimes it seems like the door is locked, and you just want to huddle in the darkest corner, keeping to yourself. But you know what? You have the key that unlocks the door to being you. Only you can open that door. Even though the light on the other side may blind you, and you might blind several others (yeah, I know, bad analogy...), just stay strong, and walk out of that closet with purpose. And yes, sometime's it is a lot better to just crack the door open slowly and carefully (that's how I've done it, mostly), sometimes you need to just fling it open and be proud of yourself. Yeah, yeah, some motivational speech. And yes, most people aren't accepting of anything they define as "different", and will give you a hard time... But so what? Just leave them behind you! Even though I've only dealt with regular harassment/teasing in middle school, I managed to stay pretty upbeat and happy about myself. I didn't care what others thought of me, I was going to be me!... Granted, all this is before I started questioning my gender and sexuality, but be that as it may...
On and ending note, I remember a video and slideshow that I saw in my US History class today. It talked about leadership, and what makes a good leader. Leaders are not defined just by their actions and who they are (an actor who starred in a great movie, the quarterback for a pro football team...), but how they became who they are and did what they did. If they cheated to get to the top, then what are they worth? Between one student who cheats in school to get a 4.0, and a student who works his ass of to get a 3.3 average... Who do you think deserves what grade? More that likely, the cheater will end up at a dead end job, not making much, not doing much, while the hard worker will be promoted over the other person's head. Just because someone does something big doesn't make them a great person. It just means they did something big.
Leaders aren't born. They are made. Be a leader. Choose your own path, and forge ahead. Others will follow.
No comments:
Post a Comment